A YEAR AS A MOTHER & 2019 RESOLUTIONS



It's the last day of 2018 and I still can't believe it has passed one year since I changed my title to a mother. I never really saw myself as a mother material even did my husband saw himself being a father. We both never really thought of how we saw ourselves as parents but Allah is the wisest. He gave us the most precious gift at the right time so all I had to do was keep on learning and until now, every day I learn new things in motherhood. My mum became a mother at 21 while I became one at 26, the age gap is very different and I question how did my mum do it? I was still playing around when I was 21 and very insecure too, how did my mother raise a new human being at that age questions me why I cannot do it at this age.

Throughout the year I learnt so much but most of all was patience. If you knew me you'll know that I lack when it comes to that, I tend to get frustrated easily but becoming a mother changed me to practice to be calm and tolerate to things I don't like which includes screams, crying, tantrums, and a whole lot of mess. Urghhhh... I'm not saying I don't lose it some of the time but I try not to and hold it in. But now I'm trying to teach Maliq the things that he can do and cannot do but it's challenging since he still doesn't seem to understand. Sometimes when I try and scold him he laughs since he thinks I'm playing faces with him. LOL... I just can't get angry after that. HAHA...

The toughest decisions I made as a mother was, of course, leaving behind my carrier. It's nearly a year I left it too and now I feel like I can't go back to an office job or any other jobs as I already have a big responsibility at home. I asked my husband about this and he says he doesn't mind but when I said someone offered me a job he told me to think deeply and after a while said, 'tak payahlah'. Hahaha... I think he also has adjusted his routine with me at home and it's easier and cost effective too since he doesn't have to rush and send me to work and we eat at home most of the time so we saved a lot of time and money actually.

Anyhow, I still have my hopes and dream to earn a living on my own. I'm still the eldest child of my family and I want to give back to my parents too. So I've been looking for ways to earn an income from home, something that I could do while raising up Maliq. So because of that, I made sure I had a resolution list to start and look too:

Here it is:

1. Get Productive
I think I have this resolution on top every year but it's not easy to maintain. When I get busy with other things I tend to forget about this resolution. Anyhow, I hope I could make a change this year since I already starting to settle down with a new home and a way of lifestyle. (Mum life is getting a bit easy). If you see, I'm already producing more content than I used too, which is on Instagram mostly but I hope to still maintain this blog at least 3 posts per week.

2. Get Fit
Yet another carried forward resolution so I really hope I'll be able to achieve it this year when my husband has already started to take care of his eating habits. We only lack exercise which I so hope we could find a way to make it a habit in our daily routine. The good thing though is that our new home is near the park, so probably that may help us start exercising. I really hope Maliq starts walking soon too, can't wait to run to the park with him.

3. Start Preparing & Maintaining Healthy Meals
Before this, my husband and I would share videos of really juicy, savoury meals with a lot of cheese and oil in it since it just makes us drool and crave for. HAHA... But now my husband changed his appetite by sharing healthy food ideas with a lot of veggies in it. We already started preparing and eating healthy meals in our daily meal times but I still lack in ideas and menus, Even my husband asked me to get creative and do something else. So I hope I could get savvy in preparing these kinds of meals easily and creatively.




4. Get Serious Into Makeup 
I think I should get serious into makeup because that's the thing I feel like I wanna do to generate my own income. I need to have a carrier of my own but I don't feel like working anymore now that I'm comfortable taking care of Maliq on my own. No matter how much I only want to focus on blogging, it doesn't generate enough to make it my carrier but it's more like a hobby. At least getting serious into makeup I could sell my service. I've already started but I haven't yet promoted anything, I'm still trying to sharpen my skills before I dare to promote my service. Stay tuned on my Instagram @cikcitmakeups for updates on this.

5. Start A Business
I've been wanting to start a business since like forever but never really got anywhere because I easily gave up. Yes, I've tried a lot of things actually but with only small capitals which most of them just burnt away like that. My husband always says to only focus on 1 thing but my head is just full of everything. So for now, my aim is to focus on makeup service for this year and then grow it somewhere different with the same niche.

6. Be a Better Mom
I know that not everyone is perfect especially when it comes to mum roles. This year I tried my best but still, sometimes I feel terrible especially when it comes to my sons' mealtimes. Since Maliq really is picky with his food sometimes I just give up and give him instant cereal since he loves eating that. Haihhh... I also have problems finding time to play with him, I know now is really important for his development in play time but I just couldn't find time to sit down and only focus on his development when he's cranky most of the time and wants to latch.

7. Be a Better Wife & Daughter
Family is everything to me and now since my roles like tripled it's really hard. I don't know how you all do it but dividing time to spend with your family is sometimes challenging. This year we did manage to divide our time with my family and also my husbands' side but I hope we get to spend more time equally this year and come back to every birthday of our parents. I also wish I could start earning consistently again so I could give some pocket money every month to my parents too like I used to when I was working. 

8. Be a More Devoted Muslim
If you know me you already know my level of devoutness, I don't really show how much of a Muslim I am on my social media because I feel that should be between me and the Al-Mighty. But this year I managed to make reciting the Quran as a daily routine and also my husband managed to do it once a week too despite his busy schedule. Alhamdulillah, we managed to take care of our solats as well, we hardly miss any and even when we're out we always stop at a masjid or surau to perform our prayers. My husband has been playing his part in making sure we perform the musts which put me at ease with the family we're creating. I hope next year I'll be able to fast again and correcting things that we lack.

9. Have Savings
Even if you know I'm very disciplined with money management, we yet tend to have savings. The money we have mostly gone for bills and commitments and of course our entertainment which mostly is eating out. HAHA... But since we've been taking care of our meals, we eat at home mostly and that I noticed has helped reduce the cost but did increase our grocery budget. Healthy food is not cheap, but I hope to find a way to avoid any waste and be more careful on what we spend. Our aim is to have at least a strong saving by the end of next year. Our family's savings, my husbands' savings and my personal savings.

10. Create the Dream Home
We're finally moving to a family home, well now is a family home too but this home is like our home already even if we're still renting with my husbands' dad. But it's better since we're planning to stay quite long until we manage to buy our own home. It's a new home but an old project so the house has been vacant for very long. We don't have the budget to spend everything on the house so I hope next year we can slowly create and furnish our dream home which the theme is white and clean. Haha... Wish me luck on the clean part though with a growing toddler.

So that's it. It was a great year this year and I hope 2019 will be better.

Till then peeps, see you next year!

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