17 January 2020

I've been wanting to write this for a long time, now since my son is 2 years old I feel like it should be the right time to share my experience. I'm still trying to have him wean off which is another struggle I'm trying to solve, but that's another story for me to share later on. For now, I feel like sharing my breastfeeding journey, which I hope could be helpful to new mothers out there who have no experience. First of all, let me make it clear that I'm no professional in this field, I'm just a mother doing it's mother duty the best I can. So what I share I based on how I feel about my breastfeeding journey. Keep reading to know my story.
P/S: I'll mix this post with BM and English because my readers mostly request reading in BM and I feel that writing personal posts like this in BM should be better.

When I had my son, I started breastfeeding him right away. Alhamdulillah, he had no complications during pregnancy and after giving birth so I was able to breastfeed him straight away when I was in the ward already. But I occurred postnatal stress after I gave birth, a bit I figured because I cried and I felt so bad after birth, I just didn't want to get up from the bed as my body felt so bad and every inch of my body was uncomfortable. I just looked at my son from the side and ignored him, I didn't even want to get up and hold him until I was told I needed to see the doctor and I should get up. I laid in bed for quite long, even after having some sleep I just laid there like my life had no purpose, gosh, I can't believe I still remembered that feeling. Anyhow, after seeing the doctor, which didn't make me feel any good at all too, I got some sense to finally clean myself up, it was the most uncomfortable feeling ever, but when I finally got myself clean, my sense came back to me. So only then did I pick up my baby and I was very thankful during those hours that I completely ignored him, he didn't cry at all.

So when I finally held him in my arms, I was told to feed him. I was completely clueless on how to feed him. Then I asked for help to teach me how and thankfully the nurse did. My son was like a natural, he had no problem to latch from the very beginning. He immediately knew how to feed himself and I felt overwhelmed somehow. I couldn't believe that I was already holding my own son after 9 months waiting to meet him. Maliq was quite a drinker, he drank quite a lot and I couldn't be discharged early sebab Maliq kena kuning, so duduk hospital for a week. Within seminggu tu, Maliq tak ada problem latching at all, and my breasts were fine too which I bersyukur sangat-sangat sebab I memang tak comfortable dekat hospital even though I dapat bilik yang sangat selesa. You can read my Pengalaman Bersalin on this.

Bila balik hospital, waktu dalam pantang, I started to feel the pressure of breastfeeding and I was still clueless back then. Maliq wanted to latch almost 24/7, sampai I sakit pinggang kena duduk susukan dia. Banyak kali jugaklah I nangis sebab I penat and Maliq non-stop nangis. The only thing that will calm him down is when I feed him. What stressed me about back then was my body was uncomfortable, Maliq crying and I had to collect milk because I was going to return to work soon.

- Maliq's never-ending latching
Since Maliq was so tiny, I could only held him in my arms for him to latch, which means I needed to sit down most of the time and it wasn't really comfortable sebab I dalam pantang.

- Leaking while feeding 
I totally wasted my energy during my first month of breastfeeding. Leaking while breastfeeding is normal and a blessing too actually but I was so stupid back then. Every time I fed Maliq, I had the breast pump ready, one side feeding Maliq and the other side holding the breast pump. It was such a nuisance to hold the pump and having it on working mode too. I feel so stupid too for even writing about this. I honestly wished I have read more about breastfeeding before.

- Trying to collect milk
Ini yang I risau dari sejak balik dari hospital. Bila I pump, susu tak nak keluar, setiap kali pump keluar dalam 1 oz je. And I sangatlah menyusahkan diri. Sepatutnya, lepas Maliq tidur, I pun rehat sekali, tapi I pulun pump susu which I have to duduk as well. I was too concerened that stock susu tak cukup. Sebab jumlah badan kita keluarkan susu bergantung pada umur anak jugak, if baby lagi, dia tak perlukan susu yang banyak sangat pun sebab perut dia masih kecil, so jumlah keluaran susu pun tak akan banyak.

- Engorged breast
Sakitnya Ya Allah! Walaupun I sentiasa bagi my son latch but I still got engorged breasts a few times. Masa awal-awal pantang je dulu kena, then after that okay day. But still, masa tu rasa tak selesa and sakit gila, memang spoil mood. Sampai I tak nak bagi anak I latch sebab sakit gila. 


- Milk Collector
When I discovered a milk collector it was already a month after my breastfeeding journey I think and I until now keep regretting why didn't I discover this earlier. Milk collector sangat perlu and memudahkan, no need to hold or even plug in. It's even called a manual pump, but honestly, it's no pump. It does help much in pumping out milk, you'll still need a breastpump for that. This works best just collecting milk. When your baby latches, just stick this at the other side and it'll work like magic, saves you the hassle in collecting milk and have your hands free as well.

- No pumping during the first month
I only knew that pumping during the first month would result in low supply of milk. I should just have focused latching only because the early days, milk doesn't produce much anyways since the amount of milk you make is based on the tummy of your child. It comes with demand. If I used this from the beginning, my confinement should have been much easier.

- Cabbage does not help engorged breasts
I had engorged breast and bila I try keluarkan susu, tak nak keluar and it hurts so much. I tried breastpump and also pressing out manually but nothing worked. Then my mum said kena letak cabbage. LOL... It was soothing since sejuk, but it didn't help. The best is tuam je, it takes time but bolehlah, it helps. Walaupun I rasa macam tak make sense jugak, tapi ikut jela jugak petua orang dulu-dulu. Ada jugak orang kata letak kubis untuk keringkan susu. Entahlah, I pun tak tahu.


I pretty much had everything I needed ready for breastfeeding and I also had a really good breast pump already so everything I had was pretty much complete. Probably the issue I had was when I got back to work and needed to bring my breast pump along. I still remember the hassle, sebab I naik public transport pergi kerja, journey an hour from home, so I suka keep it light. Even laptop kerja pun I tinggal office je sebab tak larat nak bawa. Usually I go to work with just my handbag, but when I became a mother I needed to carry another bag just for my breastpump. Haihhh... It takes too much space, and it adds the load to things I need to carry. Then when it's time to pump I always need to find a plug. Alaaaa.... stress betul bila tak ada available plug and my time is so limited to pump. Dah la company I tak provide bilik for I untuk pump, so I kena turun surau which is jauh gila from my office to pump. 

So late last year, I came across a Pigeon's new breast pump available, well not that new I guess but a later model than the one I owned. I inside I kept saying, 'why wasn't this available during my time?' goshhh... can you feel the regret there? When they did the introduction of the product I was like already stunned. It's so mini! I tak pernah lagi jumpa breastpump yang sekecil tu, which fits perfectly in your handbag. I came to know that it can operate with a power bank too! OMG!!! How convenient! Again, why didn't this exist during my time?!

I can't really write a review on this pump since I never really used it, I just came to know about it and feel like this pump would be very helpful to working mothers and mothers on-the-go. But, this pump has won awards, so I guess other mothers find it amazing too!

Here's a bit of details on the breast pump:

This GoMini pump from Pigeon has won various awards. It is recognized for it’s innovation and identified as a precursor for future breast pumps by the Red Dot Design Award which is one of the most prestigious awards in the world. Another award is from Good Design Award which is an accolade from Japan that marks the quality of life through design. ‘G Mark’ is a symbol that is acknowledged worldwide and accords prestige to GoMini.

Sounds amazing right? Wait until you hold it, it's so light, you can barely feel any weight to it and it fits just nice in any work bag, even a handbag too. My pump back then is Pigeon's Pro pump, the picture in the middle. Just see how much difference of weight is that, and the Pro pump is only a single pump, while the Go Mini can have 2 at a time.

The design is definitely way less bulky than the Pro and it has such a beautiful design as well. The Pro has quite a number of stimulation modes which I'm very happy with but I'm quite unsure if the GoMini could compete with the Pro on that since I have never used it. But what I'm certain is that the GoMini is definitely a breastpump for on-the-go mothers. One of the perks is definitely being able to operate with a power bank only. Honestly, this feature is one of the best you can ask for a breast pump, got me stunned as well.

Sebab anak I dah besar and I nak him wean off, of course I dah tak pakai breast pump lagi, but I still have my Pro breastpump stored away neatly. Sayang sangat kalau nak bagi orang sebab pump ni banyak je membantu masa awal-awal dulu.

Anyhow after I resigned, I banyak direct latch je for Maliq, so I jarang pakai pump dah masa tu, even now pun Maliq still direct latch, which makes it lagi susah nak putus susu sebab dia dah biasa. Padahal, dia boleh je minum susu formula pakai cup dia. It's the habit that's hard to break off rasanya. Selalunya dia nak direct latch bila dia nak tidur, sebab around 3 month like that when Maliq started to get bigger and not fit into my arms anymore, I banyak bagi dia susu sambil baring. And after 1 years old, they don't really stay still in one position anymore. Ada masa kaki dia dekat atas kepala kita, sometimes dia boleh melompat-lompat walaupun still latching. That's why semakin dia besar, semakin penat direct badan ni, penat and boleh sakit pinggang. 

Currently I dah cuba macam-macam petua untuk bagi dia wean off, semua tak berhasil lagi. But still I'm trying not to give up since it's already time. I'll share a post on that once I have it figured out. So until now, that's all. Hope this post was helpful. 

Till then peeps!

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